uhm, okay

it's saturday night, and I am sitting in my room facing my laptop screen, if i tell you I've been studying I guess that's a lie.  But yeah, my math text book is sitting next to my laptop. I suppose to study for math test this Monday, but I just don't feel like studying. I have an awesome sorethroat, that come regularly every month (what a bless). Now I suddenly remember about this book that  read for my English class , "The Bonesetter's Daughter". The main character, Ruth lost her voice every month due to some mysterious reasons. Actually it symbolizes the lost her inner voice. She is so depressed with her life, she can't even express it. She had a mentally ill Chinese-American mother and she is in a troubled relationship with Art, her former nude-yoga classmate who happen to have 2 daughters from previous marriage. It was described, that Ruth was so empty and she's too afraid to solve her problem and decided to keep silent.
I dont know why I am telling this but right now I really need to go back to my math book.  Time is running out, it's November already. Soon, university entrance test will come, whereas I havent been preparing so well. I have a big dream, I need to have a big will and a real action, which hasn't came yet. Sometimes I think, jeez.. I need some break, but I know it's not just me, there are lke thousands of people out there wishing to be accepted in good university. Life is a struggle, we can't move on without being postive and try to accept they way things go. I always wanted to be accepted in UI. But yesterday, mas Dudi from U.S. Embassy reminded me that sometimes, you can't always have what you want. It is always good to prepare yourself to accept when things don't go the way you want it. Hell yeah, we need to pursue our dream, but always remember that our creator puts some rocks in our  river of life, it can make us flow to another direction although we will end up in the same place, eventually. That was just my random writing. I always love to share my thoughts and my experience :)